Starstruck by H.L. Logan

Author:H.L. Logan [Logan, H.L.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: UNKNOWN
Published: 2017-04-30T21:00:00+00:00

13.

Amelia

I’d been so stupid for lashing out at Jess. Of course she would never cheat on Oliver. Jessica would never hurt anyone. Not intentionally, at least. I looked at my sad reflection in the mirror as I dressed.

Jessica’s only flaw was that she was flawless. Of course everyone would want to be with her. But not everyone could, and obviously she would pick Oliver over me. She was open-minded enough to fool around with me, but that didn’t mean she’d actually consider dating a woman. Especially a woman like me. I mean, what did I have to offer her? I wasn’t a big star. I was broke and bad-tempered, and Jessica could do a lot better than that.

The next two weeks of filming went fine. I guess. The director and producer seemed happy, and it all went smoothly. Jessica and I didn’t have anymore private rehearsals, but I couldn’t say I didn’t look forward to our scenes together. Sure, she was dating Oliver, but that didn’t make it wrong that I got a thrill out of holding her hand or having her whisper in my ear, did it? Besides, it was all just pretend.

We still hadn’t filmed the shower scene. The one Jessica and I had ‘practiced’ in my apartment. The one that hadn’t felt like practice at all. It’d felt real. But it was so hard to tell what was real and what was fake with Jessica.

Truthfully, it all felt real. Every kiss and every word she spoke in the script felt like she was putting genuine feeling into it. It was driving me out of my mind. How was she that good at acting? No wonder she’d landed so many roles. Forget the audience—she could even convince me she was in love with me.

Today’s filming had been extra hard. We’d gone on location to film a pool scene. It was supposed to be the first time we kissed on screen and Jessica’s character was taunting mine with her usual sexual innuendo. There was the tense locker room scene where we stole glances at each other. Then, as I came out of the water, she grabbed me in a kiss that was so passionate, it was impossible to tell myself that none of this was real.

I couldn’t stand it! Couldn’t stand having Jessica for a few hours, then going home alone to my dank, dark hole. I tried to remind myself that with the small paychecks coming in, I could at least afford to feed myself a little better and the stress of being behind on bills had stopped choking me so much.

I should’ve been happy.

And I was.

For the few hours a day I was with Jess.

But all the other hours? Those ones, I just missed her. Because not only had Jessica and I stopped ‘practicing’ together, we’d stopped hanging out at all. I guess she was busy with Oliver. There were new photos of them almost every night. They were always smiling and laughing and looking at them fucking killed me.

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